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|Monday, December 8th, 2008|
Dimebag Darrell, God bless that man
Ripped from us by the Devil's hand
Only thing in his plan
Was love and rock 'n roll
Cowboy from Hell on a twisted trail
Swept away where the wild winds wail
Sad truth is you can never tell when it's your time to go
Bad news travels faster
Than any good news that you hear
Just one more dark disaster
Makes you wonder why we're here
|Friday, October 17th, 2008|
|Sunday, June 29th, 2008|
I did not even get 1 day
I received a call from my mum at 5:30 am when she got back from work
Krivo is dead on the kitchen floor
I have never felt this bad in my life
anything good left inside of me has now been murdered
|Tuesday, February 12th, 2008|
|I possibly killed my spirit guide today
Driving the company van i hit 1 deer out of 5-7. It took off the liscence plate, dented the front of the grill and went flying over the windshield and over the van. I didnt stop. On the way back i didnt see a body
There was no blood
Physically i am ok
|Monday, November 5th, 2007|
Remember, remember the Fifth of November,
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,
I know of no reason
Why Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, t'was his intent
To blow up King and Parli'ment.
Three-score barrels of powder below
To prove old England's overthrow;
By God's providence he was catch'd
With a dark lantern and burning match.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, let the bells ring.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!
|Thursday, September 27th, 2007|
My apologies for how long it took to get this down but here goes. Bluey died before the trip so i took no pix, but we have 4 cams full of pix and only 1 cam has been uploaded, one of them without me
We flew out of ohare at 7 am, didnt sleep that night cuz why sleep 2-3 hours to get up and go, so played madden 08 and ncaa for a while. Left wheeling in a limo to the hotel and then all 9 of us headed to vegas
On AA, they were to show oceans 13 but instead it was some bumfuck cbs movie about Alzheimer's and whatnot and i was lucky to get an hour of sleep
So we get to Vegas round 9 am their time and get started on gamblin..drinking..all round hootenannying. We stayed at new york new york, amazing rooms. A downer happened right off the bat, celeste lost her id in chicago at ohare and realized this in the lobby of new york so she couldnt gamble or really drink at the bars but she had a good time regardless so it was ok
First thing everyone did was get the 38 dollar neck strap margaritas but i was content with my beer. One of the margarita's ended up being spilled in the pool by a jagbag kid anyhow. Also, s got some sun and am about 2 shades less pale now. That night we had dinner in mandalay bay at RumJungle which is alot like a typical Brazilian restaurant. 40 bucks got you the fire pit buffet where they bring you out meat on swords and carve it infront of you, also beer was 7 bucks, 13 for rum mix drink. End of dinner, our bill was 580 and we stayed after when the place became a night club and you had girls flying on the ceilings..in a cage dancing. I left cuz the music annoyed me and went back to craps..blackjack. Next day more gambling, they all ended up goin studio 54 while i stayed back cuz i didnt want to go, i prob shoulda since i blew way too much on gambling, lets just say this, i went up to my room TWICE to get more money. I was also piss drunk, while playing and "fake" playing slots, i was ordering a shot of crown and a beer every time she came by. Got woken up at 8 am by rich being gay. We also saw Cirque Du Solei "Mystere" and was blown away by it, amazing show and amazing story, we were debating doing hysteria or Ka the next day but funds prob would not allow. Third day we went to Coyote Ugly, we got in before cover and was a good time. Before cover they also advertised 2 for 1 drinks. I thought it was upfront so i bought 2 beers, they said 12 bucks and gave me a receipt for free drinks. I then asked right there "um, can i use this now?" so i stood there drinkin 4 beers(i gave one away), later the bar girls were givin out shots for 5 bucks, i went up there askin for jack, she thought jager, she then thought i wanted both(ugh, mix jack and jager?) and so i had my head between the bar girls' knees and had a mouthfull of jack poured in. After that, we taxi'd to the gay bar Pirannah(yes, Jason was at a gay bar children) and honestly, other than the bartender being shirtless, you wouldnt know it was a gar bar, well....that and the 90's techno music videos playing and whatnot. Made the bathroom attendant giggle when i asked him if i looked good. Jeff and I also were chattin up a cute girl trish, she was straight but was at the bar looking for another girl to take home to have a three way with her husband. I also danced with Doug and got a few whistles at me. Jeremey wanted to leave so we did and went to Taboo in MGM. Was a good time and amazingly i was not denied from this club or others. Here is where i had a few weird mixed drinks with crown(crown royal, rum, sweet..sour mix, peach schnapps). I left there and played some weird table horse racing game and won 64 quarters off it(mgm amazingly still uses coin machines and i actually won the actual quarters)
The final day, rich was glowing and we hit the piano bar downstairs which "chicago" pwned cuz we were loudest and throwin round money to hear our songs, etc etc i played carribean stud and had dinner at rio where i prob got diabetes from the dessert there. Crepes Suzette, some weird bannana..rum concoction, etc etc. Also, we went to Harrah's for the free shuttle. I was the fattest man yet i was happy to walk from new york to Harrahs, shuttle came and it would take 3 trips to get us and doug was complaining so i said "fuck this, i'll pay the taxi then" We get to the valet and say we need a taxi for rio, 5 people behind us said the same. So he said we could take a limo for 5 bucks a head, we said yes and ended up being like "cool people" and takin a limo between 2 casinos. We also got let out next to a Bentley which was fucking awesome.
Got to the airport at 10 pm where i set off the metal detector twice and had to get additional screening. I was also wearing my shirt "My parents said i could be anything so i became an asshole." The flight attendent giggled when she read it. We taxi'd for like 30 fuckin minutes and i was finally dozing off when i hear a "Excuse me sir!" and its thehead attendent telling me to turn my shirt inside out cuz its offensive.....RIGHT......PEOPLE coming back from vegas are offended by that?! Fantastic 4 part 2 was on the tv but i slept, when we landed we were kept waiting 10 mins cuz there was a med emergency on our plane and he had to be carried off. We limo'd back to wheeling, got my stuff, said my goodbyes, got back to dekalb round 8 and passed out round 9, and slept till fucking 8 pm, a good end to an amazing trip
We are also going next year, anyone want in?
And so there ya go, questions, comments, rants, let at em
Also made my bets, Hawks win the west, i get back 1,275, theyre 50..1 for that, 100..1 for cup
i also bet the nfc to win the superbowl, i forget that payout and i bet the lions to win the nfc, that will win me 110
I also bet ND to win and NIU to win, so i was 50..50 on that
|Friday, September 21st, 2007|
|I will update on vegas on sunday
Once I was - now I am no more
A burst of flames threw me into oblivion
The life I knew - seems distant and unreal
A fading dream, a memory I cant recall
Am I real - I can no longer tell
A notion tells me I still exist
Infinite dark - through this void I float
Resting, waiting for the day
When I will live again
Eons pass or maybe I just blinked
Deeper into this hell I sink
Falling through ginnungagap
Im pulled towards an unseen gate
I seem to hear my name being called
I float towards these cries of fate
Faster than - the speed of light
I am falling through universe
Stars flash by - before my eyes
The time has come to return
Out of the dark - into the light
Back into life I am cast
By my side to reclaim that once we lost
Eons have passed, Im back from the dead
Victory lies ahead
|Thursday, August 16th, 2007|
|A vivid and powerful dream
I was in some communal college area, like a massive sized neptune style dorm but it was crazy. Kinda like a military barracks but with rooms.
A guy i know showed up in the doorway, appologized, put a snub nose pistol to his head and blew his brains out. We all gasped in horror as he fell to the ground. I began to give him mouth to mouth but even though it shoulda been a kill shot, he was still alive, just "Dazed" and bleeding bad, as i tried to care for him, he was picked up and stumbled..carried off by a bunch of "security people"
Later in the dream i believe i met my soul mate i need to find and marry. I was laying in a hammock outside, recalling the events that my friend shot himself. A girl around 5"2 with black hair and a hardbody laid in the hammock with me and had her chuck taylor shoes next to my head. That fact is very important and vivid because i could distinctly smell the smell of new rubber from said shoes. I forget what we discussed but somehow it led to a contest or something at a carnival, where if i won i get something, if she won, she got something, some flirtation type thing that i am impossible at having in real life. I shortly woke up a few minutes later. The smell was the most vivid part of it sensation wise, seeing a collegue blow his brains off infront of me was vivid in the psychological sense, esp when it was a guy i havent seen in a long time and couldnt consider a close confidant
I dont know
|Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007|
I am reverting and regressing
|Sunday, July 1st, 2007|
|Tuesday, June 26th, 2007|
Rest in peace chris benoit
|Friday, June 22nd, 2007|
Lament with me, brother. Our great father is dead
|Sunday, June 17th, 2007|
I havent had a fathers day in 3 years
|Tuesday, June 5th, 2007|
Tonight is the Night of Nights. Tomorrow throughout the whole of our homeland and the Allied world the bells will ring out the tidings that you have arrived, and the invasion for liberation has begun.
""The House should, I think, take formal cognizance of the liberation of Rome by the Allied Armies under the Command of General Alexander, with General Clark of the United States Service and General Oliver Leese in command of the fifth and Eighth Armies respectively. This is a memorable and glorious event, which rewards the intense fighting of the last five months in Italy. The original landing, made on January 22nd at Anzio, has, in the end, borne good fruit. In the first place, Hitler was induced to send to the south of Rome eight or nine divisions which he may well have need of elsewhere. Secondly, these divisions were repulsed, and their teeth broken, by the successful resistance of the Anzio bridgehead forces in the important battle which took place in the middle of February. The losses on both sides were heavy-the Allies losing about 20,000 men, and the Germans about 25,000 men. Thereafter, the Anzio bridgehead was considered by the enemy to be impregnable.
Meanwhile, the great regrouping of the main Army had to take place before the attacks could be renewed. These attacks were at first unsuccessful, and Cassino still blocked the advance. On May 11th, General Alexander began his present operation, and after unceasing and intense fighting by the whole of the Armies, broke into the enemy's lines and entered the Liri Valley. It is noteworthy that, counting from right to left, the whole of the Polish, British Empire, French, and United States Forces broke the German lines in front of them by frontal attack. That has an important bearing on other matters, which I shall come to before I sit down.
At what was judged the right moment the bridgehead force, which by this time had reached a total of nearly 150,000 men, fell upon the retiring enemy's flank and threatened his retreat. The junction of the main Armies with the bridgehead forces drove the enemy off his principal lines of retreat to the North, forcing a great part of his army to retire in considerable disorder with heavy losses, especially in material, through mountainous country. The Allied Forces, with great rapidity, were regrouped, with special emphasis on their left flank, which soon deployed against Rome after cutting the important highway. The American and other Forces of the Fifth Army broke through the enemy's last line and entered Rome, where the Allied troops have been received with joy by the population. This entry and liberation of Rome mean that we shall have the power to defend it from hostile air attack, and to deliver it from the famine with which it was threatened. However, General Alexander's prime object has never been the liberation of Rome, great as are the moral, political and psychological advantages of that episode. The Allied Forces, with the Americans in the van, are driving ahead, northwards, in relentless pursuit of the enemy. The destruction of the enemy army has been, throughout, the single aim, and they are now being engaged at the same time along the whole length of the line as they attempt to escape to the North. It is hoped that the 20,000 prisoners already taken will be followed by further captures in future, and that the condition of the enemy's army, which he has crowded into Southern Italy, will be decisively affected.
It would be futile to attempt to estimate our final gains at the present time. It is our duty, however, to pay the warmest tribute of gratitude and admiration to General Alexander for the skill with which he has handled this Army of so many different States and nations, and for the tenacity and fortitude with which he has sustained the long periods when success was denied. In General Clark the United States Army has found a fighting leader of the highest order, and the qualities of all Allied troops have shone in noble and unjealous rivalry. The great strength of the Air Forces at our disposal, as well as the preponderance in armour, has undoubtedly contributed in a notable and distinctive manner to the successes which have been achieved. We must await further developments in the Italian theatre before it is possible to estimate the magnitude and quality of our gains, great and timely though they certainly are.
I have also to announce to the House that during the night and the early hours of this morning the first of the series of landings in force upon the European Continent has taken place. In this case the liberating assault fell upon the coast of France. An immense armada of upwards of 4,000 ships, together with several thousand smaller craft, crossed the Channel. Massed airborne landings have been successfully effected behind the enemy lines, and landings on the beaches are proceeding at various points at the present time. The fire of the shore batteries has been largely quelled. The obstacles that were constructed in the sea have not proved so difficult as was apprehended. The Anglo-American Allies are sustained by about 11,000 firstline aircraft, which can be drawn upon as may be needed for the purposes of the battle. I cannot, of course, commit myself to any particular details. Reports are coming in in rapid succession. So far the Commanders who are engaged report that everything is proceeding according to plan. And what a plan! This vast operation is undoubtedly the most complicated and difficult that has ever taken place. It involves tides, wind, waves, visibility, both from the air and the sea standpoint, and the combined employment of land, air and sea forces in the highest degree of intimacy and in contact with conditions which could not and cannot be fully foreseen.
There are already hopes that actual tactical surprise has been attained, and we hope to furnish the enemy with a succession of surprises during the course of the fighting. The battle that has now begun will grow constantly in scale and in intensity for many weeks to come, and I shall not attempt to speculate upon its course. This I may say, however. Complete unity prevails throughout the Allied Armies. There is a brotherhood in arms between us and our friends of the United States. There is complete confidence in the supreme commander, General Eisenhower, and his lieutenants, and also in the commander of the Expeditionary Force, General Montgomery. The ardour and spirit of the troops, as I saw myself, embarking in these last few days was splendid to witness. Nothing that equipment, science or forethought could do has been neglected, and the whole process of opening this great new front will be pursued with the utmost resolution both by the commanders and by the United States and British Governments whom they serve. [Editor's Note: Mr. Churchill added the following statement later in the day] : I have been at the centres where the latest information is received, and I can state to the House that this operation is proceeding in a thoroughly satisfactory manner. Many dangers and difficulties which at this time last night appeared extremely formidable are behind us. The passage of the sea has been made with far less loss than we apprehended. The resistance of the batteries has been greatly weakened by the bombing of the Air Force, and the superior bombardment of our ships quickly reduced their fire to dimensions which did not affect the problem. The landings of the troops on a broad front, both British and American- -Allied troops, I will not give lists of all the different nationalities they represent-but the landings along the whole front have been effective, and our troops have penetrated, in some cases, several miles inland. Lodgments exist on a broad front.
The outstanding feature has been the landings of the airborne troops, which were on a scale far larger than anything that has been seen so far in the world. These landings took place with extremely little loss and with great accuracy. Particular anxiety attached to them, because the conditions of light prevailing in the very limited period of the dawn-just before the dawn-the conditions of visibility made all the difference. Indeed, there might have been something happening at the last minute which would have prevented airborne troops from playing their part. A very great degree of risk had to be taken in respect of the weather.
But General Eisenhower's courage is equal to all the necessary decisions that have to be taken in these extremely difficult and uncontrollable matters. The airborne troops are well established, and the landings and the follow-ups are all proceeding with much less loss-very much less-than we expected. Fighting is in progress at various points. We captured various bridges which were of importance, and which were not blown up. There is even fighting proceeding in the town of Caen, inland. But all this, although a very valuable first step-a vital and essential first step-gives no indication of what may be the course of the battle in the next days and weeks, because the enemy will now probably endeavour to concentrate on this area, and in that event heavy fighting will soon begin and will continue without end, as we can push troops in and he can bring other troops up. It is, therefore, a most serious time that we enter upon. Thank God, we enter upon it with our great Allies all in good heart and all in good friendship.""
|Tuesday, May 29th, 2007|
"Know that humans are inherently weak and not good for much. That's why you don't want to have too many around you for too long. If they see that you are strong they will be attracted to you. Beware, for this is also always true about humans without exception: they will eventually attack what is strong and see it as their enemy. In their fear they display their need to bring what is seemingly above and beyond them down to their level."
"It is no surprise to me that hardly anyone tells the truth about how they feel. The smart ones keep themselves to themselves for good reason. Why would you want to tell anyone anything that's dear to you? Even when you like them and want nothing more than to be closer than close to them? It's so painful to be next to someone you feel strongly about and know you can't say the things you want to."
|Saturday, May 5th, 2007|
Motherfucking venom cant be killed by no mother fucking pumpkin bomb Current Mood: enraged
|Tuesday, March 27th, 2007|
|Sunday, February 25th, 2007|
For years I wanted to meet a woman who didn't make me want to be alone. I don't look anymore. I walk the streets and i feel pretty good inside my distinct isolation.They know who i am. I only know myself. I hear them talk as i pass them. I listen to their words and try to imagine myself saying the same thing. I cannot. I have never felt farther away from humans than now. Every word that escapes my mouth is a solipsism. Every move i make is solipsistic."
|Wednesday, February 14th, 2007|
|Venereal Disease Day
Its venereal disease day
I kid you not, if yer in a relationship, i want you to choke on vomit, and not your own Current Mood: annoyed